Having a new baby is the most exciting and emotionally thrilling experience of a lifetime. Now comes the question, how do we raise our child? What do we do to provide a home which serves to promote security and independence? Without a clear plan parents are at risk for unknowingly repeating the same unhealthy approaches to child rearing they may have experienced as children themselves or find themselves battling over which parents’ views are “correct” and living in constant conflict.
The following “test” serves to assist parents in defining their assumptions about child rearing and arriving an agreed upon united approach to child rearing:
1. What does this child mean to me/us? (Multiple meanings are healthiest)
2. What or how does having this child change my/our perception of myself/ourselves?
3. How do you see yourself as a mother or father?
4. How do you see your spouse as a mother or father?
5. How do you see yourself as a parent?
6. What in your past is likely to either positively or negatively impact your parenting?
7. What in your past would you like to repeat in parenting your own child?
8. What in your past would you not like to repeat in parenting your own child?
9. What in your spouse’s past would you like him/her to repeat or not repeat in parenting your child?
10. How can you and your spouse help each other avoid repeating unwanted/undesirable parenting techniques?
(Taken from “Raising the Successful Child – A Parenting Manual” by Dr. M. Mark McKee available on Amazon.com)
